I’ve been following this principle since highschool, I learnt this from my bestfriend and she’s been my bestfriend for over 8 years now.
I used to be an unforgiving kid, I held grudges and I would make sure that I get my revenge in the end. I was a scary kid, LOL. It was only after I met my dear bestie that I changed; now, I never held grudges and it’s become a habit of mine that I don’t stay angry at one person for long (unless you did some super horrible terrible thing LOL).
But then, sometimes, there are things that no matter how hard you try to forgive and forget, there’ll still be a tinge of resentment. The scar exists and it will forever stay there.
It was supposed to be a new beginning, a new start, a new blank page to be written with good memories .. but it turned out to be still the same old place where I was hurt and bruised.
I saw it coming. But then I still held on to that little hope that I could be wrong.
I was only met with disappointment. Although the impact was not as great (because I expected it), I still felt it.
It was then that I realized that eventhough I’ve forgiven for what happened, I could not forget. It’s actually sad.. sigh. It still stung when I enter that place, and now, I don’t see any light of hope for that feeling to completely disappear.
Call me a b*tch, a leech, a person who holds grudges, whatever.
but.. I think I’ve given up on that place.
Maybe one day I can enter that place with a smile again.. but for now, I think I’m staying away from it.
PFFFTTTT. I seriously went high / tipsy last night.
And I remember most of the things I did(and said), so I’m laughing really hard right now! AHHAHAHHAHAH! XD
For one, the post before this one. It’s obvious Junhyung’s not drunk and he’s following the dance choreography, hence, lying down like that and covering his face etc. Yet, with my incoherent mind, I thought he was drunk?
And, at the same time of that post, I was chatting with Maknae Ame & Min unnie on MSN. I asked them both if they’re drunk? (And they both went: she’s drunk, she’s drunk) ROFL!!! XD
Conclusion: when I’m ‘drunk’/tipsy, I tend to think & say everyone’s drunk..? LOLLL!
And what’s funnier is that I obviously know that I was high and I was trying hard not to act that way in front of my dad; it actually worked! I spoke coherently to my dad when he was asking me about the details of the party.
I was actually at my cousin’s bf’s place, it was her BBQ party before she leaves for HongKong to study next week so we all went to see her for one last time before she left and at the same time, celebrate her birthday with her(her bday’s in December == lol). And I actually wanted to stay over there because lol, I wanted to drink some more and lol, my bestie who was supposed to send me home is too light-headed to do that, sooooo.. I had to lie to my dad that I was staying over at my cousin’s place because my dad would kill me if it was her bf’s place. LOL.
But sadly before I got to msg him, he called first and I had to go back home in the end. Got a guy friend who did not drink to fetch me home. HAHAHA. And I bet I was really annoying in the car… “Shit, do I look drunk?” “Do I look drunk?” “My dad’s going to kill me… shit do I look drunk?” and he said “You look fine. If you can feign coherently and talk less, he won’t think you drank a lot.” “Okay.”
When I got home prepared for my dad to flame at me, he just asked me..
Dad: Did you drink?
Me: hehe, a little?
Dad: Knew it.
Dad: *sigh* If you wanted to stay over, you should have asked me earlier and not take for granted that i would say Yes.
Me: *guilty*….sorry. Won’t happen again. (drunked mind said; shit. I should have called earlier then. too bad, haha.)
Dad: Go to sleep lah..
Me: Okay, you too Dad. Night =)
And I went to shower straightaway because I smelled of smoke. LOL. Can’t stand smelling like BBQ chicken and satay and sausages. After the shower I realized I had no hairdryer to dry my hair. Had to use the one in my dad’s room, and that was what I did. That’s where the ‘questioning’ came in, which I think I nailed it.HAHHAHAHA.
So yeah, that’s the story. I won’t talk about the MSN story I had with Ame & Min. LOL. Too crazy.
It’s only been 2 weeks since the new semester started and I’m already swamped with work, assignments, more work and more assignments. Despite having only 3 subjects and only 3 days of classes in a week, I have weekly reports to write, a stupid blog to maintain, and crucial assignments to hand in almost every week.
Damn, I’m already feeling so tired because of all that.
I may seem very ‘free’ to be posting stuff on tumblr but I actually have lots to do.. It’s just that I take my time to post because this is my only way of releasing the stress cooped up in me everytime I finish class.
I’m totally rambling right now. SIGH. Gotta get back to work soon. UGH.
Welcome back to University life after a 2 month break. T_T
2mths… We couldnt re-Live it no matter how hard we’ve tried.. But the memories remains… right??
Happy reminisce… I dedicate this post to my girLs..
Message from Sagittarius to Capricorn & Virgo : Honestly I(we) have no reason to kill either Capricorn or Virgo.. But Sagittarius are bloodydamn pLayfUL… (HaHaHaHaHa) After this please kill the “other” Sagittarius.. I’m tired.. very tired and bLank indeed… in need of biting capricorn (-.-) Sincere apology for the miss type message.. I didnt notice… like I said.. sometimes things just so distractive…
(Idk how many times I died because of the Sagi’s ==”)
I can’t believe it’s only been 2 months. ONLY 2 months. In just 2 months, I’ve gotten crazier.. I’ve become more and more ‘drunk’ by the day, to the point of having this beautiful hangover. It’s amazing really. What he can do to me.
Thank you for the ‘gift’ unnie. As always, the ‘gift’ leaves me breathless ;D
(And I just received your msg; I KNOW you’re going easy on me, THANK GOD)
In return, here’s my gift to you.
It’s nothing much.. but be sure to examine, touch, cherish and love every little inch of the ‘gift’.
I’ve been thinking about 2606 a lot. More than 24hrs actually (and to think I had early morning class this morning >_<).
TO be honest, I’m actually quite.. "high" right now. High on Vodka..? lol. I almost finished a bottle of vodka (40% alcohol) in about 1hr .. so seriously, I’m NOT in the right mind right now; I feel crazy and insane, my head’s spinning~~ XD (wait, when was I ever sane? LOL!). Hmmmm, to think that I can even write this post almost coherently is AMAZING already. hahaha.
Yes, I admit it. I’m "drunk" right now. Literally, as in physically, and of course because of a certain man who stole my heart on that 26th day. Sigh, seriously, IM CRAZY, really CRAZY.
Have you ever experienced how you’ll start ‘seeing things’ or having a minor case of ‘hallucinations’ when you’re almost in that “semi-drunk” state?
I’m actually experiencing that now because I swear, just a moment ago, I heard his voice, next to my ear. He was whispering my name..?? His voice was low, raspy and oh so sexy.. geez, these hallucinations are GOOD because fcuk, they sound/feel so REAL.
And lol, it’s even more amusing/funny that I can actually tell that they are hallucinations..?
Do I make sense at all right now?
And, I’m not drunk right now because if I were, I wouldn’t even be able to write this post AT ALL. LOL.
Don’t ask me why I’m feeling especially nostalgic today.
Don’t ask me why I’m looking back at that particular day almost 2 months ago.
Don’t ask me why, because really, I don’t know.
Maybe this was the after-effect of the ‘beautiful hangover' I had on Friday, 2days ago. Maybe it is the after-effect of rereading both my, min unnie's and julie's diary of 2606. Maybe I'm having my PMS. Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know!! >_<
What I do know is that Iwant to go back to that 26th day.
Call me greedy, but really, I want to feel the emotions again, I want experience my lovestoned moment again, I want to see his face again, I want to live everything again.
I sincerely believe that 2606 was fated. Everything that happened, both before and after, are brought upon by FATE.
It was fate that I got to know Beast and love them 3 weeks before they came.
It was fate that a day after I self-proclaim myself as an official ‘B2uty’, I find out that they were coming in 3 weeks.
It was fate that I find out my bestie, Leeyee aka Julie aka Lychee, was a certified B2uty too. (although she was the one who asked me to check them out, I didn’t know she was THAT into them)
It was fate that I find out Min unnie was a fan too and I bought her ticket for her.
It was fate that on that 2606, we met Amelia, who is now a precious maknae to me, to us.
It was fate that on that 2606, I met those beastly boys, and got lovestoned by him. (I will never forget that moment..)
It was fate that on that 2606, despite how we parked at B2, the boys left the building on B1 and we didn’t see them and decided for ROUND 2 on 2706…
…and a lot more fated moments on 2706.
It was FATE that brought all of us together.
It was FATE that we are how we are now.
It was FATE that gave me a new family; my very own ‘royal beastly’ family.